Δευτέρα, 6 Ιουνίου 2011

BEST ALL INCLUSSIVE HOTEL-CLIENTS,OR HOW SOME PEOPLE WISH TO FUCK YOUR MOM

    
 (it's my god-given duty to put some ass-fuck on the blog, also in english. The original article is in white letters, as the reviewed is in green. Remember that all green letters are written in 2014, while white, back in 2011...ish... This blog is meant to be read by greek speakers. If by any chance you don't speak greek, then you probably belong to the insignificant majority of this world that is not made fun of gay love and corruption.....and talibanarab glory-beards. What you are about to read was written in rage and the author has no responsibility if you feel nausia, or butt-hurt or if you experiance Balkan-gayds. Remember people, assswag is what keeps us united)


If you're an asshole in you everyday life then you'll continue being an asshole on your vacations too (great words man, I feel for you), thing that makes hotel workers in all-inclussive hotels wishing you either dead or above your mom (I still don't get that hovering-above-your-mom thing, but remember guys, we don't obey simple laws and Gravity is one of them)....or wishing your fucked mom dead (trve brvtal metal) !!!!(exclamation marks of pure glory)
   The current article is in english instead of greek because we Greeks,although we have A GREAT DEAL of demands on our vacations (WE DEMAND OURSELVES TO VACATE (nazi-salute)),we prefere to pay for them (huh????) rather than to expect a hotel worker to take down his pants and being fucked for nothing (gay-love alert was too late), as it happens at this type of hotels. (abstract as fuck. Nazi-Dali spoke)

DEAR FUCKHEAD (beloved inbred)
    ,now that you are in a hotel that has a spacific list of things to be made for you easily and fast (nazi gay-sex and towels), don't ask, during the rush hour, for goods that will take more time than normal to be prepared (don't ask us to unwrap your fucking condoms. We rebel with shit like that). Believe me, no waiter, supervisor or barman will appreciate you for ordering a drink that you pay for, while the rest of the clients are more than thirsty waiting for a fucking drink (we're already at the bar?!?! Fucking awesome!).....Which means   


TAKE YOUR FUCKING MOJITO,CHAMPAGNE AND CAPUCCINO AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS (that will gay-up your thirst and might feel a bit greek, order fucking tea which feels manly as fuck), because the moment you order something like that, your mother is the most popular bitch in the room (a.k.a. "the room's milf").....maybe something like that


while you look like that

well that fucker looks dorky....

 
Continuing....you prefer to sit on the bar rather than a table (I never sit on the bar. It's full of drinks and alcoaids)....not a big deal, though no barman likes to be stared if you are not a hot girl with "good intentions", while working...but let's say that it's ok.Now read this well;

TALK TO YOUR WIFE (aka "dat nazi bitch"), FRIENDS (not Rachel, she's a dork), HUSBAND (if you're married in Amsterdam), UNKNOWN PEOPLE (aka, your kids)OR SHUT THE FUCK UP BECAUSE I DON'T NEED NO PRICK TALKING TO ME WHILE A HAVE TO PREPARE A FUCKING ORDER.(NAZI-SALUTE)
I "laugh" with your "jokes" just because I don't want to get a negative comment from you and jeopardise my job (not laughing and non gay-sex are prohibited in some hotel areas)....in everyday life I would just slup your face. Answering to your fucked up questions only destructs me from 100000 drink-orders and this itself will give me bad reviews for "slow service",while the only slow thing in the room is......

who? Me in particular? Well, fuck you too

 
Furthermore (that's a big word right over there)....if you ask silly questions, get prepared to get a brain-fart for answer (prepare your anus). For instance...a client opens a small conversation with one of my waiters after he brought him a drink;

braindead:          how do you say "thank you"?
unlucky runner: ......."thank you"
.............................................................
braindead:   I mean in greek
unlucky runner: "efharisto' "

by the way the client knew that my waiter was from.....well....Romania!!! Fact that makes me say that.....

nazi-photo fail

 
During the rush-hour all workers run like crazy so that you get what you asked for, even though that might mean they might just shit their pants running for that shot of whiskey (well it was scotch after all...) that you ordered.During that panic, accidents may happen: a tray with glasses might fall, a bottle might fall, a waiter or a barman might tumble and fall (fuckin' gravity, man).

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT PUTTING YOUR HANDS TOGETHER AND CLAP, DON'T EVEN CONSIDER DRAWING A LITTLE SMILE ON YOUR FACE, DON'T EVEN TRY TO MAKE A COMMENT....IF YOU CAN'T OR DON'T WANT TO HELP...WELL...
                    SHUT THE FUCK UP
(literature)

Closing I want to say that, when you see the department you are: restaurant, bar, coffee-shop etc, closing at that time, it means that these people have worked and finished their 8 hours of work and it's time for them to have a personal life,rather than baby-sitting your sorry ass....sooooo GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!(word)
Don't talk about labour rights while doing that because you violate them all and you look like a guy I saw today,eating a kebab and throwing down the papers while on his t-shirt was written "protect the environment...it's everyone's concern"(fuck that guy in particular)





(Thank you for joining today's special on ocelebritis, hope you had fun and fuck you for being the douche everyone hates. If you ever feel like an asshole, remember that some people work in bars by choise and mazochism is not a crime but a birth-defect and should be treated with patience....just like your mom)

6 σχόλια:

  1. Inbread είναι αυτός που κατοικεί μέσα σε ένα ψωμί;

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    Απαντήσεις
    1. yes, gnwstos kai ws "asemaskouklitsamou poumasdior8wneis kiolas"

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    2. Τοτε ο Xωστηρας τι θα ηταν για τον Inbread ???

      Μπορεις να τον φανταστεις να φωναζει ολο ασθμα "I'm your father" ???!!!!!???

      FMM

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    3. ξέχασες το "Luke":
      -"Luke, look, I'm your father"
      -"FUCK YEAh!!!"

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    4. Ενα ανθρωπινων διαστασεων λουκανικο με μουσταρδα, κετσαπ, BBQ sauce, λιωμενο τυρι, εξτρα τηγανισμενο μπεικον, ωμο σκορδο και κρεμμυδι ΚΑΙ πατατες που να φωναζει "FUCK yeah !!!".

      Αν το δει στο δρομο δεν νομιζω να προλαβει να το ΑΚΟΥΣΕΙ κανενας πριν βουλωσει καθε αρτηρια στο σωμα του.

      Καλα, μπορει να ξερω 2-3 που θα αρχιζουν να μεταμορφωνωνται σε ζομπι-saiolor moon ( ξερεις τωρα, σκηνη μεταμορφωσης και ποζα γεματη ναζι με κοντη φουστιτσα ) και να αρχισουν να το καταναλωνουν στο ονομα του Jeorge Lukas αλλα τι να σου πω τωρα. Sci-fi ζομποταινιες ; Εδω στειλανε τον Jason στο διαστημα εκει θα κολλησουμε τωρα ;

      FMM

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